Lack of common sense

10 June 2016

To say that today was interesting would be an understatement – but the highlight was definitely seeing my ellies again. They’ve moved more east of the camp since there are still a few natural waterholes with a little bit of water left compared to the dried up ones close to camp. Even though we’re pumping the overflow of the camps water into the pan in front of camp, it’s extremely salty and doesn’t attract the herds it used too. Hopefully the mechanic comes sooner than later to put in a pump into one of the “fresher” boreholes so that we can pump the pan with more water.

Since the new guide has to learn the roads, we’ve been driving around a lot. Again. Now I’m a pretty patient person but he drives slower than what a tortoise walks and he has absolutely no common sense. For example – we arrive at a part of the road which is basically blocked by thorn bushes on both sides – so what does he do? He switches the vehicle off, climbs out to investigate what to do next. But instead of looking for a way around the trees – he takes out his tiny pocket knife, selects the sawy knife and starts sawing a tiny little branch. Seriously?! There are about 60 tiny branches he would have to hack away. So instead, while I’m sitting at the back watching with unbelief as it all unfolded, I jump out and stomp around looking for a way round.  Not before I almost do the splits over the rails while impatiently jumping off the unladylike manner. But just as you think it can’t get any worse, we get to fallen thorn tree in the road – guess what – he climbs out, looks at the tree, tries pulling a branch and claims that “he doesn’t know what to do”. At this point I’m losing my mind – I jump out again, and start moving the damn tree. Girl trumps boy. Again. Or actually it’s not even about gender (I just like to add that in), but it’s about majority of this human race lacking common sense. If this happens again, I might actually have to count to 10 before I say something I’ll regret. I mean he sometimes even turns off the vehicle to look at something, spends a few seconds staring at the ground then driving off again, without telling us what he was looking at. Unless we ask. What! This is ridiculous.

Anyways, on a more successful note – I was finally able to arrange for us to go to Xobega Island with Lou (the American professor). Not without the usual hassle. Apparently, the food run is only done on a Thursday – why you ask? If all the food is waiting to be picked up? Good question. Again lack of common sense. This was all unfolding on Friday afternoon while I’m standing outside the office, trying to look for signal while also trying to ask the office lady in Maun to please send me airtime because mine was finished and I couldn’t keep sending everyone “call me backs”. Then there was an issue with the vehicles – we had the cruiser with custom made seats on the back but with no roof. Luckily I remember Marinus mentioning that one can’t go into the park without a roof – so I message him to make sure while messaging the mechanic at the other lodge to ask if we can come in the morning to put up the roof. Oh just guess his response – literally “he doesn’t have a roof”. Seriously! Can he not be a little more helpful but offering me an alternative, or does his brain not think that far ahead! So I message back saying out boss (Marinus) says the roof is at the lodge. He messages back “he only has a frame”. I think I might actually explode. So then I ask him if that’s the case could be please swop vehicles since he has the 6-seater which we would be able to take into the park. “Sure” he says. Oh how hopeful. So 5am we make our way to the other camp (an hours drive). We get there, not before getting lost – typical me, but I’ve only been to his house once and Marinus was driving so obviously I wasn’t paying attention. We swop the cars, not before I confront him about a previous issue of him not putting in the pump yet. See the thing was, he sends me an sms one morning while I’m in town “wait for me in town”. Uhm excuse me, simple manners doesn’t cost a thing. I phone him back before I picked Lou up from the airport to ask what he needed, but I don’t get through and I’ve been in town for the last 4 hours so how hasn’t he contacted me yet? Anyways, I’m not waiting for him after I’ve picked up Lou, so I drive back to camp. So turns out he needed to swop vehicles in town so that he could buy pipes needed once he connected the pump – oh here’s a thought – why didn’t he say that in the sms? See again common sense. So that’s what I confronted him about that morning, then he has the arrogance to tell me that that is what he put in his sms – seriously buddy!? Do you want me to show you the message? The nerve! After having to waste energy talking to him, I find out that the one window can’t wind up. It’s like 5 degrees outside and the window is broken? How does he manage to break everything he gets his hands onto?! And he’s the mechanic. Now I’m steaming. Luckily the heater in the vehicle works. Plus the vehicle was filthy inside!! I hate it when people take absolutely no pride in looking after company property. And this while we have to take a guest into the park. #rant one more thing – he even managed to do something to stop the cruisers indicators from working. Oh he is one special mechanic. Ok enough about him.

Let’s talk about what we saw in Moremi – cheetahs!! More specially a mom with 2 cubs of about 5 months. It was so out of the blue, we were busy looking for something that had moved in the bush when they just “appeared” on the road as we turned the corner. The mom was pretty relaxed around us, even did the infamous stretch and roll. Of course I was sitting on the wrong side of the car and the guide decided to aim the car so that I had absolutely no chance of getting a great photo from my side. Oh what love. Doesn’t matter, I got to see my beloved cat. Made me think of Harnas and how much I miss working with the cheetahs there. It won’t be the same going back though, with Pride basically being in an enclosure with her cubs, Mauritz being so wounded that he can’t hunt for himself anymore and Maxi boy being dead. Can’t believe that all happened a few months after I had left. I don’t regret it though, I made lifelong friends and my eyes were open to sanctuary work for which I am grateful for. On a lighter note, we also saw a lion walking away in the distance, with red lechwe in the foreground.

The island visit was amazing as always. Even though the mosquitoes are a pain in the ass, I got to see an ellie munching on papyrus in the delta.

Since this was the first time for our guide to drive to and from the boat station (you drive through Moremi to get to the boat station, climb on a boat and drive to the island), he was drawn a map on how to get back to camp. Lucky for us, I also took the GPS where I recorded the way we drove when Martin and Rob from ACE came to visit, just in case you know. I don’t trust my sense of direction at the best of time, especially since it’ll only be my second time on that road. In any case, the drive back went well, until the guide decided he was going to start speeding past the animals – had to ask him if he’s on a rush somewhere – “no, why” he asked. Oh I don’t know, you’re rushing past all the animals buddy, mind slowing down slightly when you see something. Slowing down being the imperative word. But no, instead he switches off the car at ever sighting. Oh give my patience. I love impala – but really, switching off the car and sitting there for about 5 minutes? Let’s think logically here. Later we get to 4^th bridge (literally the 4^th bridge in the park) which is flooded from the incoming Angolan floods, which means you can’t see the rickety bridge or where it starts. Great. He doesn’t seem to be the best 4x4 driver either. So he puts the vehicle into low range and slowly ambles on. We hit the first pole without managing to get onto the bridge. Guess what genius does – he starts revving the vehicle! Does he want us to get stuck in the mud?! I tell him to stop, he’s digging a hole with the tyres, back up and try again but slower this time. My goodness. My word nightmare is getting stuck in mud. Sand is still ok, you can dig yourself out of it and use sticks for traction, but mud?! It acts like glue. After finally getting onto the bridge, he’s still driving in low range – seriously, you don’t need to be in low range to drive over poles and it uses more fuel. Not that he listens to me, so on we travel at 5km/hour. After what feels like hours – we get to a junction – now my GPS indicates on way while the drawn map another. Since he’s the driver, I tell him what I think but that he must decide. He brings out the map, travels with his finger the roads we’ve driven while explaining it to me. “I know what the map says, I’m just telling you that this is not the road we drove, so I don’t know if this goes the same way, but you’re driving so you decide” I repeat since it didn’t seem to go through the first time. So he trusts the map more than my GPS (what now?) and takes a different route. We end up in a dead mopane forest with very few definite roads. You can see he has no idea where he is, but yet he carries on driving. He takes out the freakin map again as if he thinks it’s changed in the last 15 minutes or so. Later on I tell him to just turn around because we’re clearly not on the right road. We finally get back on the correct road according to the GPS, only to drive into a convoy of caravan travellers from Gauteng with the most embarrassing registration plates. I joke that we’re not from the same country, because who in the right mind pays for something that doesn’t compliment your intelligence.

Just as I think we’re finally getting somewhere, we come to another junction where the GPS and map doesn’t coincide. Oh my goodness, not again. I basically tell him the same story about the GPS showing a different road. He brings out the map AGAIN, incorrectly points to our current location, and shows me what the guy drew. Because you know, since the last time he showed me the map, my brain seized and I forgot how to read a map. Picking up that I’m starting to lose my patience. He of course that’s the map’s directions, we drive for about 8 km when I tell him that clearly there is no turnoff that will join us onto the main road so I think he should turn around. For some odd reason he thinks we should head back to the road we came into the park. What! The whole point of taking this road was to bypass that route since it’s longer. Did he miss that whole conversation Again, we turn around and follow the GPS – and low and behold we end up on the right road. I’m still confused that one doesn’t have to exit through one of the parks gates – how do they keep a registry of who is in and out? In any case, we’re slooowly heading back to camp, and I mean slowly. He’s almost driving slower outside the park than inside. So I ask him to please drive a little faster since we first have to stop at the other lodge to swop vehicles and pick-up supplies. Think he slowly picks up the pace – oh no, he decides to drive like mad man in the mopane forests. By this point I’m thinking whatever, the sooner we get back to camp the better. Between all this, Lou and I were having a great conversation.

The most ironic part of the whole trip was when our guide had the nerve of telling us that there is a guy in Chobe who only employs females as guides, and that they’re always getting lost and stuck. This while he’s busy driving on the wrong road. Oh hey – and a female is telling him which road to take otherwise he’d be lost. But that’s different right. Funny enough, Lou and I were actually discussing how the conservation field, previously male dominated, has evolved to include more women in the industry, but that there were still individuals who didn’t think women were capable enough. Makes me so mad. Botswana is unfortunately still very traditional in that sense.

Guess us female conservationist are going to have to change their minds.

#wildatheart

 

P.s. I apologise if there are any spelling errors, I steam roll during my blog posts and I'm too hungry to reread it xx